The Trials and Tribulations of Homebrew

After a long day of hard work, overwhelmed by stress, we two weary Lang students trekked home, looking forward to the respite and serenity of our apartment. Little did we know that our mischievous roommates had launched their newest scheme. We opened the door to find them collectively shaking a huge glass bottle full of what they hope to be the tastiest home brew in Brooklyn.

They came up with the idea after hearing about it from family members and proceeded to save every beer bottle that passed through our doors. Lists piled on the table of the potential revenue this project could generate, and they soon were off to Brooklyn Brew Shop to purchase required equipment and learn the basics of what to do.

“We hope this will save us money,” said Corey Mullee, one of the aspiring entrepreneurs. “It’s huge exposure, a great hobby, and enhances my appreciation of beer.”

The boys neglected to read the printed instructions that came with their kit, resulting in several mishaps in the brewing process. For example, near the end of the process, they realized they had forgotten to sanitize all the equipment, including the bottle, a step that could lead to their brew’s demise. 

But not all these close calls were the result of their carelessness. The brewing kit was missing a crucial ingredient for the mixture. Instead of one bag of aromatic hops and one bag of bittering hops, the kit contained two bags of aromatic hops. After much consternation and flaring tempers, they came to a conclusion they could all agree on: mixing hops from two different recipes, one for a winter ale, and another for a red ale, into their original recipe. 

The entire evening resulted in four musicians arguing in vain over the mechanists of density, when none actually knew the facts.

To compensate for misread instructions, they began pouring cloves, nutmeg, and cinnamon into the boiling mixture until the entire apartment began to smell of baking pumpkin pie. Now the bottle will sit in our coat closet for two weeks, creating the fermentation and alcohol content required for this potion to be considered beer.

“It’s hard to keep myself from drinking it when it smells so amazing,” said Mullee. “I just can't help think about how those yeasts are doing. These next couple of weeks are going to be the most exciting of their entire lives.”

By the end of the brewing evening, a once well-thought-out scheme turned into an important learning experience. Our roommates grew closer through the challenges and are determined to keep trying for the perfect brew. They will soon see if the initial concoction is acceptable, but they ultimately matured in the process.